“It’s Probin’ Time.”

By: Dylan

Have you ever gazed up into the night sky and wondered if someone was looking back? Have seen something you couldn’t quite explain? A bright light that suddenly vanishes? We’ve all heard the stories; little green men, flying saucers, alien abductions….strange goings on that remain a mystery. Well, what if I told you…we’ve been invaded?

In 2005, Earth was visited by someone, by something. A Jack Nicholson-sounding Alien named Cryptosporidium, with the one goal in mind: Destroy All Humans!

If you remember back to the Playstation 2 or Original Xbox, then you probably remember seeing or at least hearing about the Destroy All Humans! Series. These games focused on an Alien named Cryptosporidium (Crypto for short) as he made attempts to blend in, manipulate, and utterly destroy the human race. With the mission of harvesting brains to further the longevity of his own race, Crypto spent four games destroying all humans.

Finally, a game that lets you read the mind of a Cow


The original games took a very satirical look at the 1950’s. A world of swinging be-bop music, and the threat of Communism made up for an amusing and entertaining setting for our hero (or villain) Crypto to explore.

Playing in a sandbox fashion, Crypto could run around and zap or disintegrate humans, fly around in his saucer, or probe his victims into violently messing their pants. Poking fun at pop culture, movies like Planet of The Apes, Alien, Enter The Dragon, and even Godzilla. It was a game series like nothing we’d ever seen.

“Hey…hey what the…Damn Dirty Apes! Where the hell am I?”

A sequel took place in the 60s and then the series came to the next generation of consoles. With Big Willy Unleashed! For the Wii and Path of The Furon for the Xbox 360. The last game was released in 2008 and we haven’t heard from Crypto since.

So what has he been up to? Did he leave the planet? Well unfortunately, THQ has gone out of business and was forced to sell off their rights to Destroy All Humans. In 2013, it was acquired by a company called: Nordic Games. Today, Nordic Games hinted in a Tweet that we may just see our violent little hero again.

Now don’t get too excited. The Tweet (from @ElMegalomator) merely says “There are a few options we are evaluating now. Hope to get started on one of these soon” What do you think? Is the return of Destroy All Humans! A good idea? Or has the series lifted off and flown back to the planet Furon?

Here’s what I think:

1.       A New Game

I’d love to see a brand new DAH! Game, Crypto returning after a long hiatus to get back doing what he’s good at. Seeing what kind of fun the developers can poke at today’s society (If it’s set in a modern day) and causing more mayhem than ever on this generation of consoles. But the question is: Could it happen? Could Nordic Games deliver the same charm as the previous Devs? That remains to be seen but if they’re true fans of the game, it could turn out in a similar fashion as to when Sanzaru picked up Sly 4. Hopefully so.

 2.       Remasters

The more likely to happen is a remaster set of the first two games and maybe Path of The Furon. I say this is more likely because Destroy All Humans! Has fallen into obscurity and gamers of today probably aren’t even aware of it.

Bringing them back with Remasters, I feel, is actually a better way to start. Get players back familiar with the games and then later, create something brand new.

 3.       Reboot

One more possible option is a complete reboot of the series. Bringing it back to the very beginning may be another good way to reintroduce the series to gamers and establish new gameplay mechanics not possible in the original games. If the voice actors could return, I could see a reboot being a good option.

So there we have it, three ways the series could return. What do you think? How could the series return? Let me hear your thoughts and thanks for reading!